Money and Relationships

Money and relationships - two words that always seem to strike a chord with people. It’s a sad statistic but more relationships are ruined by money than any other issue.

Why can money ruin a relationship?

Money seems to add an element of stress to many relationships, especially with married couples. I think it’s a big challenge for newlyweds to combine their finances after being single for so long. Plus, when you factor in a new baby on the way, you have a recipe for conflict.

One of the big problems happens when one partner has a different view of how money should be handled related to the other partner. You could have one who loves to spend and the other who is a saver, or worse – both are spenders!!

It’s expensive to raise a family these days, so I think couples are in for a shock when they realize they can’t spend their money the way they used to. When you have kids, the money goes to diapers, food, daycare – that means, no more fancy clothes, dinners, or that second car. Something has to give.

It’s time to stay home. I wonder if this causes a bit of resentment because they have to give up their old lifestyles and spending habits?

Quite often, when couples don’t give up their old spending habits, yet have to deal with all the NEW expenses of running a family, the trouble begins and the debt starts to mount.

Once the debt accumulates, so does the stress … then the blame sets in. The husband might blame the wife for overspending or vice versa. Or, the husband might not want to give up they toys that he’s always used to having.

The simple fact is BOTH are to blame.

Relationships are a team sport. Both partners have to communicate, work together … and compromise.

I think one thing that I would do to improve communication is draw up a cohabitation agreement if you move in with someone or prenuptial agreement before you get married.

I think having something in writing can start the process of talking about money. Plus, any items of ‘contention’ are on paper, which I think can alleviate confusion, stress or resentment in the future.

Ultimately, communication is the most important – talk things over with your partner and don’t hide anything!

That means put everything on the table, including those credit card bills!