Why Don't We Talk About Money?

I was speaking with a family member about debt and spending the other day, and he mentioned that he just didn’t know where his money went. I then casually asked if his wife had any debts or how her spending was … and he couldn’t answer my question! It then got me thinking – why don’t we like to talk about money?

Probably the number one reason for divorce or relationships breaking down is money. Usually one person has different spending habits, or the other is hiding something. Rather than discussing their differences or bring them out into the open, they prefer to let the resentment build.

I’ve also noticed that friends and family generally don’t like to bring up money. The topic of salary is usually taboo and no one likes to bring up their net worth or if they have heavy debt loads.

So why won’t people talk about money?

Pride
Admitting that you can’t manage money or have problems with debt can be embarrassing for some people. Also, people may feel they don’t measure up if their salaries aren’t high or if they don’t have fancy things. Our materialistic culture has basically told us we are what we purchase.

Self Worth
There could be issues of self-worth, lack of confidence or mental health issues. People that don’t feel good about themselves tend not to do well with money and are certainly not going to want to talk about it.

Cultural Values
For some reason, we do not like to talk about money. It seems to be a forbidden subject and is considered improper to bring up during normal conversation. Try asking someone what they make or what they paid for their house, and I bet you’ll be greeted with an uncomfortable silence.

Lack of education
We’re not taught about money in school. Most education these days focuses on getting us jobs but not how to manage money once we start earning it. It’s hard to talk about something when you know nothing about the subject.

I’m not sure how we can change this. I think it’s healthy to talk about money – especially couples - because how else are you going to solve problems if you choose to ignore them?

At the end of the day, it looks like we’re going to have to modify our education system and somehow change the values of our society.

Related posts:
Money and Relationships